Ghost

It lingers by my side, 

Waiting, staring, smiling at me. 

I don’t know what it wants, why it stays. 

Why it tortures me so, just to be.

Morning to night I see his face, 

Sleep in his arms and wake alongside him,

I wish the sheets were ruffled 

But all I can feel is cold linen. 

He was mine, some aeons ago

When I could feel his heartbeat on mine.

He became mine, the day we met

When we strayed through a bush and vine.

That day when the daffodils flew in the sky

Right in front of the orange cloud,

I built a house - for him, for me

“I’d love you forever,” in his ears, I had vowed.

I still walk past the vines and bushes

For what I had once kept for auld lang syne,

Has now become a friend, a curse

For me to carry along, for him, confined.

“I knew this wasn’t going to last forever,” he said

And I knew it was my fault.

Sunken the flower that shone, despite the gold

That dazzled all around, all feelings had a hault.

Craved for him, the solemn presence

Couldn’t believe reality, wanted to disappear

Into a world in my head,

Created his ghost who stayed with me

For an eternity of dread and tread.

I think I want it to go away

It has wiped my faith, all my love now.

I don’t think I can survive with this

Hollow piece of nothing, this vow.

But it smiles again, that lovely smile which made me

Fall to my knees, back in ‘fifteen.

Says I’ll stay here for 

Three thousand years, no in between.

So I walk through the fields of October

Hand and hand with his ghost

Wandering when it would vanish

When it would rip my heart -

And let me lay in the autumn of the one I lost.