Countdown: 6 Weeks To Your Death

For anyone who's been bullied before or anyone who's been let down by another, and still stands so strong...

I'm so proud of you♡

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WEEK I: denial

I stand here on the roadside

I'm hearing voices around me

Of all those who stood beside

As I fell back on the count of three.

Don't get me wrong, they took my side

I should be thanking them now

But I don't think I can even hear

Their voices loosely avow.

Because I had finally thought that

It would be better - better than the icy air inside.

But I should have been careful to wish 

'A dream come true' denied.

𐙚

WEEK II: anger

I sit here on the edge of my seat

Urging myself to fall

Fall with a knife on your throat

A clean stop to this brawl.

You must think you’re so supreme

Shitting with people to feel good

Your pleasure is their pain

Oh, you’re more worthless than soot.

Never thought this day would come

Alas, sweetheart, you chose wrong

I swear to God, you’ll be gone

Worthless, for death you’ll long.

𐙚

WEEK III: bargaining

How could this be

Never thought I’d go this far

Never thought a day would come

When I would have this scar.

How could anybody do this?

Tell me, is there something you need?

There must be a problem if you think

You must make another bleed.

I should forgive you perhaps,

Perhaps I should not

Perhaps I should choose my own respect 

Or perhaps I should take pity and thwart.

𐙚

WEEK IV: depression

It is finally over 

I can finally rest now

I had thought this on that day

I had never thought I’d break my vow.

I considered myself immune

Swore I’d never let others get me down

Because I had been so young then

When I was at the verge of that drown.

I don’t know if I feel anything

Put a prick, I promise I won’t flinch

Why do you make me so worthless

When all I wanted to do was clinch?

𐙚

WEEK V: acceptance

It’s been a few days,

I think I’ve taken a breath

Proud of myself again

Oh dear, I’ve finally found the strength.

Perhaps you took strength to throw daggers

But do you know I took the hard path

I looked at you, past the disgust & anger

And forgave you; no I’m not letting you push me back.

Don’t assume this was for you

Oh this was all for me, I guarantee

I just wanted to prove myself

How resilient I am - I really wanted to see.

𐙚

They say there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Well, I’d like to add one more...
revenge.

- Cruella De Vil

WEEK VI: revenge

Oh it’s a sweet old reverie

To leave things as they are

You spoiled them for me, you know?

And I won’t let them get in the past.

I know how to get you back.

I know what I must do.

Take you to be dead and quiet

Your broken soul won’t ever be fixed to new.

I won’t think you even exist

That’s how worthless you are to me

No, your death won’t be by my hand

It'll be so trivial; you just wait and see.

𐙚

 

Hey lovelies!

This week, I'd like to talk about bullying. This post is actually really close to my heart, since its based on a true incident (I'm talking about the emotions, and for legal purposes, let me just mention, no I am not murdering anybody).

The thing is, when I was in the sixth grade, I got bullied - a lot. That bullying shaped my mindset and though it resulted in me being strong and resilient, it also created a habit of hiding my emotions and seeking academic validation. Even seven years later, I can feel that bullying from when I was twelve years old, seeped into my very skin, crawling underneath, anytime an incident even a tad bit similar happens.

Recently, something happened and it made all those emotions resurface from underneath. Even though, I handled the situation at that crux of time with a lot of patience and hardly let any of my emotions show, it was very detrimental to my mental health for the next few days.

The reason I'm recounting these incidents are because I just want to let you know that it is very easy to get carried away to have fun, and sometimes, we don't realise if we're putting someone down. However, you never know how one little incident could shape someone's mindset and change their lives.

Live and let others live. It's the most important thing you could ever do.

𐙚𐙚𐙚